Ogeechee Meat Market

BACKSTAGE RIDER

COW must be provided with the following:

1 pair sunglasses (Sunset Boulevard style);

1 cowbell-type bell, copper or bronze (no tin), collar to be made of leather, preferably from carcass of COW's children or other family members;

Furthermore:

All meat market employees will address COW as "Hey, You" or "Beef Face";

In the event that live transport is required, any and all trucks must be filthy and unventilated;

In keeping with COW's status as a beloved celebrity, only high quality knives, cleavers, chains, and buckets may be used in the slaughter and dismemberment of COW. (Equipment need not be cleaned prior to use.)

COW appreciates your cooperation.